A Guide to Engagement Photos If You Feel Awkward in Front of a Camera
Hi! I’m Molly, a Virginia Wedding Photographer
based in Richmond. VA. One thing photographing couples from Virginia Beach to Washington D.C. has taught me, is that almost everyone walks into their engagement session convinced they’re awkward in front of a camera. Truly, almost everyone says it within the first five minutes of meeting me.
I honestly get it, being photographed is vulnerable. There’s this pressure to somehow look effortless while also looking deeply in love and completely like yourselves at the exact same time. That’s a lot to ask of anyone.
What I’ve noticed after years of photographing people in love, is that awkwardness has very little to do with actually being “bad” at photos. More often, it comes from self-awareness, pressure, and a fear of somehow not being “enough.” Looking pretty enough, relaxed enough, romantic enough, unique enough. It’s the pressure of feeling like the photos need to prove something about your relationship or who you are.
Without fail, almost every couple who starts a session nervous ends it saying some version of, “that was actually really fun!” They didn’t become models all of a sudden, they just stopped focusing on how they looked and started focusing on each other. What I’ve learned over the years is that people in love are so naturally beautiful in front of a camera when they aren’t trying. And that has nothing to do with hair, makeup, or jeans size.
So if you’re someone who feels nervous about engagement photos, this guide is for you! These are practical ways to prepare for a session that feels natural, comfortable, and genuinely like you, along with a few mindset shifts that help people settle into being photographed without pressure creeping in.
First, you are so normal.
As a Virginia photographer, I have never had a single couple show up to an engagement session and tell me, “we’re actually really confident in front of the camera, you don’t have to pose us at all.” I think this feeling of self-consciousness in front of a camera is SO universal, and that alone should make you feel better. It’s all weird. You’re trying to look your absolute best but in that not-trying-too-hard kind of way, driving to the beach to meet basically a stranger, and then acting the most romantic and lovey you possibly can in front of said stranger. So don’t worry if some part of you feels icky in your body about it.
How to Prepare for Engagement Photos
A photoshoot needs to be more intentional than just booking a photographer for a date and location, and then never speaking again until session day. Natural, personalized photos take planning and getting to know each other. These are the top things that should be covered in the planning process to set you up for a really easy, comfy experience.
Locations that Feel Comfortable
Avoid googling “engagement photo spots in Richmond” unless you want to be surrounded by 17 other photoshoots. A photo completely alone in a peaceful neighborhood park with nice light and greenery can feel so much more naturally beautiful than a rushed photo with the most majestic backdrop you could imagine! If we’re dodging crowds or waiting in line, I’m having to pull you out of the moment. We lose the flow and momentum that makes photos feel dreamy and natural.
Choosing a location that is one or more of these things can make ALL the difference in the vibe of your photos:
Meaningful or familiar to you, like a first date spot or a simple local park.
Exclusive access or minimal crowds, like a quiet outdoor location, a studio or your wedding venue.
Easy parking! Underrated, but if you’re sweating and bothered or rushed by the time you walk to the location, the discomfort will show.
Your home or backyard. You can’t possibly feel more comfortable anywhere else.
*A note on this. If you’re dreaming of photos at a certain location that you know IS crowded or chaotic (a landmark, a first date ice cream shop, a downtown area) let’s still do it! If a place holds meaning for you or is nostalgic, that matters. If you were one of my couples, I would also recommend a second location that does feel lower key so you get the best of both worlds.
Choosing Outfits You Can Move In
Make sure your outfits allow you to easily move (like run, lay in the grass, be picked up and spun around). Bonus points if your outfit actually moves with you in some way, like a dress or skirt that blows in the breeze or a flowy set. It goes without saying, never try to to fit yourself into shoes or an outfit that doesn’t fit. If you’re constantly worried about adjusting things, you won’t be able to stay in the moment with each other.
I would reach for an outfit you constantly gravitate to, like a favorite pair of jeans, linen pants, or a dress that makes you look amazing, before buying something new. Wear something that makes you feel amazing over something you like the idea of but might feel awkward actually wearing out.
Would you have worn it five years ago, and probably five years from now? I love this little trick for choosing a look that feels both timeless, and genuinely like you. A lot of advice out there says that has to mean neutrals. I think if polka dots or pops of color feel like you, do it!
Finally, don’t feel the need to take your engagement photos in a white dress if something else feels more exciting, more fun and more like you! Remember that your engagement photos don’t have to feel like everyone else’s. In fact, they’ll feel so much more valuable one day if they feel uniquely yours.
Church Hill, Richmond VA
Find Inspiration That Feels Like You
I know how hard it is to know where to begin when planning the location and the vibe. I would start here: scroll Pinterest and pick out what lights you up and feels good in your body. Don’t overanalyze why, just save things to a board that make you smile. Then, look at that board you’ve created and figure out what the common thread is.
Include something a little extra. Sushi on a blanket, a bottle of champagne, lay in the grass with a book if you’re both readers. Have your session at a tennis court because that’s how you met. Little personal touches like this don’t have to feel cheesy, or like a styled shoot. They’ll remind you of something real one day, and they make your experience more fun!
Romanticize your everyday life, dates you go on, and things you do at home. Things like cooking breakfast together Sunday mornings, beach dates, going to get ice cream, whatever it is you two do that remind you of your relationship and the season you’re in. Turn those into a session. Remember again, your session shouldn’t look exactly like everyone else’s because you two are anything but cookie-cutter.
Lowering the Stakes
Engagement photos are not a test of how cool, pretty, in-love, or unique you are. They don’t have to prove anything, except maybe a night well spent with your favorite person in the world.
I know how hard it is to feel this pressure for your photos to come out perfect, but try a reframe. What if the thing that makes your photos perfect is actually lowering the stakes for yourself?
That can look like:
choosing outfits you already feel confident in instead of something overly trendy or unfamiliar
planning a session around an activity or location that genuinely feels like you
resisting the urge to recreate exact Pinterest poses
deciding ahead of time that the goal is connection, not perfection
letting yourselves laugh, move, talk, and interact naturally instead of constantly wondering how you look
being goofy or weird together. the in-betweens and out-takes make the best photos, always.
Remember your why. Is the point of these photos to perform well on Instagram? Sure, we all want to post our cutie photos and read through sweet comments from our friends. But I would imagine your real “why” has more to do with memory keeping, your legacy, and your story.
Someday, someone who loves you is going to look at these photos and want to see who you really were, not just what was trending in 2026.
So as much as you can (and I know how hard this is), resist the urge to “perform” engagement photos. Your love is enough, I promise. You never need to become a different version of yourself to take beautiful photos.
How to Feel Natural During Your Engagement Session
Staying Connected to Each Other
Don’t feel the need to act romantic. Interact the way you naturally do when you’re feeling really close to each other, which looks different for everyone. Familiar interactions will always look easier and more natural than ones you’ve never done before, so stick to familiar. You know those little ways you show love at home? A hand squeeze, the hug you do when someone gets home from work, the way you naturally fit together on the couch. Those are the things that translate really beautifully in photos, and allow you to naturally feel comfortable. Be goofy and a little weird if that’s you, sometimes the favorite photo is the one of you laughing after something ridiculous happened!
Movement over Posing
You absolutely do not have to know what to do with your hands. Think about how you are when you’re just going about your day. You aren’t thinking about your hands, right? We never think about what to do with our hands until there’s a camera pointed at us, or we’re public speaking. Try your best to channel that, and ignore the way your body looks or what your hands are doing. Imagine you’re in a movie scene, and keep moving as much as possible. Little touches, hugs, leaning into each other, all make photos feel easy and lived-in. When it doubt, just bring your hands to your partner, however feels natural to you.
Looking at the Camera
This is where some photographers have different approaches. If you were one of my couples in Virginia, I would tell you to basically completely ignore me as much as possible. I will make sure to get a good variety of cheesing at the camera photos for you, but I find the more you focus on each other, the more natural the photos feel. Stay in the moment with each other, get lost in the moment if you can. Stay in that moment until your photographer actually has to pull you out of it. That is always where the magic happens.
Treat This Like a Date
Get excited about this, make dinner plans, grab a drink first! Turn your engagement session into a special night for you guys to connect, instead of just something on your wedding checklist to mark off. I promise this will make the mood so much more relaxed and lovey, and takes the pressure off the photos themselves.
Old Town Alexandria, Washington D.C.
Guiding vs. Posing
Again, this is where photographers can differ quite a bit! If you’re a couple who really wants photos to feel natural, I would guide you toward a photographer who prompts and guides more than they pose.
What is the difference? Posing feels like stand still here, do this with your hands, and look at me. This approach might be for you, but if you need a little movement to feel comfortable, it may not be.
Prompting feels like this: walk away from me like you’re going to dinner, glance back at me, now give her a twirl and walk back toward me. Prompting tells you what to do, but not necessarily how. It is movement heavy, while also giving you some specific instructions. Prompting is an amazing middle ground for couples who like instruction, but also want photos to bring out natural emotions.
Guiding is similar to prompting, but it might lean a bit more documentary and leave more room for interpretation. Sit together and just hang out, fall into each other and love on each other, explore that area over there together, just wander. This is an amazing approach for couples who want their photos to feel really lived-in and non-performative and are okay with a little bit of early discomfort to get there. This requires more planning and more trust with the photographer. Most photographers who work this way prioritize really getting to know their couples on a deeper, values-based level.
Personally, I start a session with more prompting and try to move towards guiding as my couple gets more comfortable. The biggest thing I’ve learned, is the less I can micromanage you by the end of an engagement session, the more magical and unique to you the photos become. Most couples need guidance to get there, and that is so okay!
What Makes Engagement Photos Look Natural?
A plan that makes everything easy. Comfy and breezy outfits that are weather-appropriate, a location that is easy to access, and a plan that makes sense and doesn’t rush you.
Movement. This makes photos feel alive and cinematic, like a genuine moment frozen in time or a still from a movie.
Genuinely showing love to each other and having fun with it. Real smiles and genuine love photograph better than the most amazing pose found on Pinterest.
Trust. Hire a photographer whose work you can see yourselves in, and let them do their thing. Trust that if it feels silly, it probably looks amazing. As an engagement photographer, I will never make you look bad in a photo.
Comfort with your photographer. Do you feel like you can tell them you’re feeling awkward? Talk to them like a human? Are they empathizing with you? Can you joke with them? Choose a photographer you genuinely would enjoy spending an hour with, camera or no camera.
A photographer who matches your energy and can read your vibe. One of the most underrated parts of this job is being able to read a couple’s energy and know what you need in the moment. There is such a range of styles across Virginia engagement photographers, and also every couple is different! Some couples need less direction, some need more. Most people really thrive off encouragement. (Ask me how many times per session I say OMG SOOOO CUTEEE YOU GUYS). Choose someone you feel will genuinely listen to you and bring out your best.
Finally, you don’t need to be “good at photos”
Remember that “why” we talked about earlier! This is about celebrating your relationship and how in love you two are, and that doesn’t require any modeling experience. It definitely doesn’t require you to be someone you’re not. Good photographers have spent years learning how to bring out the best in our couples, just normal people like you and me who feel awkward in front of a camera. I promise, we’re cheering you on and we already think your story is SO photo-worthy.
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VIEW a Maymont, Richmond engagement session
Hi, I’m Molly! I’m a Virginia Wedding Photographer serving couples from coast to coast who value an experience that is authentic to you, honoring your values and the people you hold closest. If you’re planning a wedding anywhere from Washington DC to Richmond, and you’re looking for a Virginia wedding photographer, I would love to celebrate your day with you!
xo, M
